All In, Fixed Plan, Counting Calories – What Makes Sense After an Eating Disorder?

One person tells you to eat chocolate bars every day from now on and pick up bread rolls from the bakery every morning. Another swears by a fixed plan with exactly measured portions. And you sit in between, wondering which of these is right for you.

I get exactly this question all the time: “Lina, how should I approach my recovery? Should I go all in or increase step by step?” Especially when you are coming out of anorexia and your period has been missing for a long time, every decision feels huge.

I am Lina, a state-certified nutrition consultant and health coach for women’s health. I was in two clinics, had nine different therapists and have since supported many women on their way out of an eating disorder. In this article I share my experience and why I am a fan neither of “all in at any cost” nor of the rigid plan.

🧠 Recovery has two sides: body and mind

Every recovery has two sides. There is your body: what happens visually and what happens to your health when your period is missing, your digestion suffers and your hormones are out of balance. And there is the other side, mind and soul, or put simply: your head, which has to come along.

Anyone who has ever tried to recover knows this: it gets difficult when you focus only on the physical side. An eating disorder takes place in the mind, and that is exactly what all eating disorders have in common.

Often you can’t see it at all. It can show on the outside, but it doesn’t have to. That is why you can’t pin it on “unhealthy food” or on a number on the scale.

Only the body is nourished → the mind doesn’t follow → discomfort, relapse or the next eating disorder

🏥 What I learned in the clinic

In clinics, you more or less go all in. I had a fixed meal structure described in “portions”: one portion of this, two portions of that. On top of that, a weight goal I had to reach from week to week.

And if not? Then there was a nutrition drink whose name I’d rather not mention here, because someone would be guaranteed a flashback. For me it was a huge means of pressure.

And I won’t pretend otherwise: before being weighed, I very often drank extra water. When it came to holding on to my eating disorder and my low weight, I was a master of cheating.

I gained a lot of weight in the clinic. I did not feel comfortable with it at all. I knew: I have to gain. But my mind was nowhere near as far along as my body.

The result: I left the clinic with a healthier body, but still with my anorexia in my head. Afterwards I lost myself in veganism and competitive bodybuilding and slid into bulimia. For years I had a mix of all kinds of eating disorders.

That is exactly what I want to spare you. If weight gain is on your mind right now, feel free to read my article on why gaining weight in recovery feels like a step backwards.

🍫 Why I am not a fan of “all in” at any cost

Many coaches work on the all-in principle: a chocolate bar every day, bread rolls from the bakery every morning, never again light products, and potatoes are bad anyway. I understand the idea behind it. Still, for me this approach often fuels exactly the thinking you actually want to get out of.

Because once again it says: I have to eat this now. The rules have only changed their sign. Instead of “I’m not allowed to”, it’s now “I have to”, and the control stays the same.

That is why I prefer to leave room for freedom. We are all born with a somatic intelligence, meaning a good feeling for our body, for hunger and fullness. That is the intuition everyone talks about.

During childhood this intuition gets lost bit by bit, for example through rewarding and punishing with food. Through the eating disorder you then unlearn it almost completely. For me, recovery means finding your way back to this intuition, not swapping one compulsion for the next.

🎯 Your why: a clear goal for your recovery

To be clear: in recovery from anorexia you will need to gain weight, and you may make friends with that thought. For it to last, though, you need more than a weekly plan. You need a reason that comes from within.

Maybe you want to get your period back and get your hormones going again. Maybe you wish for a healthy relationship, children one day or simply a digestion that doesn’t rebel every day. These are often very sore points.

Lasting motivation comes from within. If you don’t know why you are doing all of this, your recovery will tip over on the hard days. On exactly those days it helps to keep your goal clearly in view: tick the day off and carry on tomorrow.

🛁 Doing less, being with yourself more

In an eating disorder many of us live strongly in doing mode: I have to, I have to, I have to. The to-do list gets worked through, everything is goal-oriented and scheduled, including recovery itself.

But you are allowed to make time for yourself. You are allowed to simply do nothing, and I mean really nothing. Or read in the bathtub, dance, do yoga.

I discovered journaling for myself, even though I was never a fan of writing down my thoughts. The stronger your connection to yourself, the more lasting your recovery, because then you no longer just follow rules, you feel what you need.

That also means not losing sight of your body: keep an eye on your blood values, especially your hormone levels, and look at how you manage stress. If you want to get your period back, stress plays a bigger role than most people think.

📊 Counting calories and fixed plans: not overnight

When it comes to fixed plans or counting calories, I am torn. If you have always counted calories and it gives you a certain sense of safety, please don’t try to stop overnight. This often goes rather sluggishly, because more often than not you end up eating the same things again and may even tend to eat less.

Instead, keep your foundation: the meals you know and feel safe with. Then gradually add meals you don’t track. For example, deliberately go out to eat somewhere you can’t weigh anything.

My wish for you is that one day your challenges are no longer challenges but simply part of your life. How I let go of counting calories myself is something I share in my article about counting calories.

⚖️ There is no good food and no bad food

Who actually tells you what is good and what is bad for your body? In recovery we want to get out of the extreme, not slide into the next one.

Just look at the two camps: the gut health camp says “please no gluten and no refined sugar”. The recovery camp says “please five chocolate bars a day and three bread rolls”. These are simply two extremes, and you don’t have to choose either of them.

Why not have a bread roll with Nutella in the morning if you feel like it? Or a chocolate bar if you feel like it, or two pieces of chocolate cake? I do that too, completely normally. Food is simply food.

People with an eating disorder in particular live very much in structure: everything has to go perfectly, and at the same time you don’t really want to gain weight. I know this, I was in exactly this situation more than once myself. So: invite strategic intuition and find your way into freedom bit by bit, without imposing new compulsions on yourself.

💛 Setbacks are part of it

Not everything goes to plan, and that is exactly how it should be. Setbacks will come, again and again. What matters is that you have your clearly defined goal and walk towards it step by step.

If you take a break and stand still for a moment, that is completely fine. You fight so hard every day, and you are allowed to see everything your body does for you.

I know what it is like to walk through the world with blinkers on and see no way out. And as someone who made it out, I can tell you: it is worth going through this recovery, even if it sometimes feels like hell. It is worth widening your view and walking towards freedom step by step.

So don’t force yourself to gain as much as possible overnight, as long as it isn’t medically necessary. Whether it is has to be decided individually and together with your treatment team. Overall, though, I am a fan of letting your mind come along.

If you don’t want to go through this alone, I’d love to look at your path together with you. And if you like, tell me on Instagram how you are approaching your recovery right now.