4 Years Without a Period: Emily’s Path to a Self-Confident Life

Toothpaste? Tracked. The tiniest piece of apple? Tracked. Nothing could be forgotten. Emily’s tracking app knew about every bite, sugar was off limits, and a day with fewer than 30,000 steps didn’t count as a successful day.

She last had her period in 2018. After that: four years of radio silence. And the crazy part: even when the scale had long shown a normal weight again, nothing happened.

Getting your period back after being underweight, even though your body is supposedly “normal again”? That is exactly what Emily did, about half a year after we started in 2021. Emily was one of my very first clients, back in my LT-Coaching days.

Today she is 30 and says: “For two years now I’ve really been centred again. I know who I am, what I can do and what my body needs.” How she got from that prison into a self-confident life, she’ll tell you herself today.

I’m Lina, a state-certified nutrition consultant and health coach for women’s health. I know this pattern not only from working with clients, but from my own story.

When steps and calories run your day

At around 22, a hard breakup pulls the ground out from under Emily. What sticks is a sentence that digs in deep: “I’m not worth being loved.”

“And then you start escaping into something to make up for that pain,” she says. For her it was exercise, three to four hours a day. And if you train that much, you might as well “watch what you eat”, and suddenly the tracking was there.

This is how she describes her everyday life back then:

Honestly, this is how it starts for many women. Not with the wish to be thin, but with a pain that has no other language right now. Running shoes and a tracking app then become a plaster you stick back on every morning. An eating disorder is never there without a reason.

From 30,000 steps to almost zero

After a few years Emily had reached her lowest weight, and then came the injury. She had been running excessively without the right shoes, and an inflammation in her foot suddenly left her barely able to move.

Her body gained weight, and for someone who had been underweight for so long, that is the worst nightmare. Today Emily calls it “the complete package of: everything is awful”:

At some point during that time, Emily sits crying in front of the mirror and swears to herself: never again. Shortly after, she stumbles across me on Instagram, back then right in the middle of my bodybuilding days, and a few messages back and forth turn into coaching.

She wanted to lose weight – I wanted her to eat more

Emily’s goal back then was crystal clear: lose weight and, if it worked, maybe get her period back along the way. Especially in my early days, lots of women came to me with body goals exactly like that: lose weight, tone up, build muscle.

Yes, yes, yes, we looked at her goals. But deep down I always steered: eat more, eat in a more balanced way, get out of the numbers in your head and into intuitive eating. I had been through every extreme myself, from anorexia and binge eating to competitive bodybuilding, and knew pretty exactly what Emily was going through.

Back then I still worked with meal plans; today I work with guidelines. Emily’s first plan really shocked her: “No, that’s way too much, I’ll gain weight.” At the same time, that very plan was a relief for her.

And then something happened that Emily would never have expected: she ate a lot more than before and lost weight at the same time. More energy, a better feeling in her body, and on top of that her period came back. “It all came together, it was wild.”

In between she doubted whether any of it was working, until I showed her a before-and-after picture and she could suddenly see the difference. Looking back, she says the work together was much more mental work than work on her body.

Getting your period back after being underweight: why it still took time

When Emily came to me, the scale had shown a normal weight again for about half a year. Her period? Nowhere to be seen. And this is exactly the point where so many women despair: I’ve gained weight, what else does my body want?

Your cycle doesn’t look at the scale, it looks more at your bank account. One single pay cheque doesn’t make a cushion: only when enough energy comes in reliably over a longer time, there are breaks and the stress level drops, does your body dare to invest in something as costly as a cycle again.

That’s why: a normal weight is not the same as safety for your body. For Emily, a lot came together: eating enough, allowing breaks, letting go of control bit by bit. About half a year after we started, her period was back, after four years.

And one more thing mattered for Emily: we looked at her hormone levels and supported her through nutrition in a targeted way, for example her thyroid. It’s something like your inner engine and super important for a healthy cycle.

Honestly, at first it was also a strange moment for her. “I don’t have my period, great, that means I’m underweight” – that’s how her head had calculated for years. And suddenly it was: “Now you’ve gained weight again, now your body is fertile again, now you’re normal again.”

In hindsight, it was the best thing that could have happened. Your body is always for you, never against you. It’s only trying to keep you alive, and we’ve forgotten how to listen to its signals.

From the plan to gut feeling

Many people think intuitive eating means: from Monday on, I’ll just eat by feel. Honestly, after years with a tracking app, that rarely works at the push of a button.

So for Emily it went exactly the other way round: structure first, then trust. The plan gave her head a break, and in that break her body got to show that it doesn’t go off the rails with more food. When you trust a person, at some point you manage to trust yourself again too.

Looking back today, she’s amazed herself: she used to eat huge amounts of food with as few calories as possible. Today she goes out to eat with friends and cooks without racking her brain over whether she’s allowed this.

It was never about the food

If I had to put Emily’s story into one single sentence, I’d take hers:

Her whole self-image was shaped by “I’m not worth being loved”. When she looks at photos from back then today, she thinks: “You actually had a completely normal figure. I’d love to rescue the Emily of back then and tell her it’s all okay, focus on your mental health.”

And why is it so hard to let go? Imagine a little Harald with a notepad sitting in your head. He writes down everything you’ve ever heard, seen and felt, and he’s constantly looking for proof of what he already believes: “I’m not good enough.” If you binge or the scale shows a kilo more, he shouts triumphantly: “See, I told you so!”

Your head is above all afraid of what it doesn’t know yet. If the eating disorder is all you know, it’s your familiar safety. You’re not in control when you track, but when you learn to listen to your body.

Something else struck me in my conversation with Emily: we almost always introduce ourselves with a label. I’m Lina, nutrition consultant, blah blah blah. I’m a mum, I’m an athlete, I’m something. Emily tried it right away: “I’m Emily. Hi.”

Comparison, Instagram and real people

Of all things, Instagram led Emily to me. And at the same time, Instagram was also part of the problem.

Comparison is a huge topic in recovery, and your feed is about as realistic as a catalogue photo. My tip is so simple it almost sounds ridiculous:

By the way, Emily has developed a pretty fine radar today: she quickly notices when someone around her is struggling with food or exercise, because she knows the signs from herself.

What Emily does differently today

I asked Emily what she is proudest of today. Her list:

That’s why she celebrated her 30th birthday very consciously: “I knew, okay, I can leave this whole time behind me. It was a wild time, but I made it.”

Accepting help, even as a control freak

Then this part of Emily’s story will probably pinch a little.

And then there’s that nasty thought I hear in so many conversations: “It’s not that bad for me yet. Others need help more urgently.” Emily was never in hospital, and for a long time it was simply uncomfortable for her to admit she had a problem.

Honestly, I know this too, and not only when it comes to food. When I founded my company anew, it was incredibly hard for me to get help. Today I’m so grateful that I’m allowed to hand over responsibility sometimes.

A pattern Emily still knows today: people pleasing. The calendar is full to the brim, and at some point she pulls the emergency brake: “Stop, what do I actually want? What do I need right now to be happy again?” Then she also cancels appointments, even when it’s hard.

Emily’s advice for you

I asked Emily what she would say to a woman who believes the train has long left for her. Instead of “You can do it!”, she said something much more honest:

She also openly admits that she’s super impatient: “At certain points I thought, this isn’t doing anything anyway. In between, I didn’t see it.”

What Emily says about our work together

Personal words to finish

Dear Emily, before our conversation I scrolled through our old WhatsApp chat again and had to smile so often, because it feels like yesterday. And afterwards, as so often, I sat there with tears in my eyes.

Thank you for your courage to share your story, and for your trust, back then and today. And thank you for giving Emily space. And as I so often say: fear is your best friend. It shows you that you’re daring something new.

Having supported more than 250 women, I see it again and again: the path is different for everyone, with ups and downs. But you don’t have to walk it alone.